February 2012
16 posts
1 tag
I miss you.
Empty promises
Why do people even promise me things when in the end, they’re not going to go through with it? It gets my hopes up, it frustrates me to the point of tears, and it makes me lose so much respect for someone.
It may seem like I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but hell, it’s a big deal to me when people make me empty promises. Get over yourselves.
I’m a good person.
I have a big, whole heart. I try and spread as much goodness and happiness whenever I can to those I care about. So why is it that everyone thinks otherwise and calls me things like “ugly”, “mean”, “a bully”, and such other hurtful things?
I know I can be a bitch sometimes, but who the hell isn’t? And I know my jokes can go a...
I think the reason why I can’t let you go is because part of me doesn’t want to. I always try to let go of things that remind me of you, yet I just keep doing them.
I’m obsessed with the idea that the old you - the one that I fell for almost a year ago - is still there.
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The simplest things trigger the thoughts about you. A song, a place, a picture, a person, etc.
When is this madness going to end? I miss you so much and all I can do about it is dwell in our memories…
How do you look at the girl you love and tell...
How did you? Because I couldn’t, and I still can’t.
Tonight was the first night in 9 months I went to the movies without you. This time, I went with friends and it felt… Wrong.
I don’t know why I keep feeling like you and I should be together. I just miss you so much and seeing things and going places that we used to go to together just makes me miss you even more. Words can’t explain how much I miss you.
I still care. I always have. And I...
In the beginning of the year, I felt so skinny and pretty and I had so much self confidence. Now I’m breaking out, I’ve gained weight because I was unhealthy before, and I have no self confidence.
I feel like complete and utter shit; inside and out.
1 tag
Insecure
I break out, my teeth aren’t perfect, I’m not skinny, and I’m not the most attractive person ever. I just wish I had some decency on my body. I envy those with natural beauty, because once they put makeup on, their beauty is just enhanced 100 times.
Shit just sucks. I always am and will be insecure about everything. I hate it.
Everything is just too overwhelming and everyone is just too much.
I can’t take it anymore.
1 tag
Could've, should've, would've
We could have made it, we should have made it, and if I could go back and change the bad stuff into good, we would’ve made it.
Maybe you got bored. Maybe it was the lack of communication. Whatever it was; I hate that it made you leave my life for good. I miss you so much and it’s killing me.
You were the one that got away…
I'm slowly becoming all of the things I've...
January 2012
11 posts
Dad
I’ve never been good at explaining how I felt about you. But long story short, I miss you so much and I wish you weren’t on the other side of the country, so far away from me.
Shit just gets worse and worse everyday
Some days I feel like I miss you so much that I can’t breathe. While other days, I feel like it was the best decision in the world to have you and I out of each other’s lives.
I can’t explain how I feel anymore. It’s like I hate you and then I miss you; I want to throw you off a cliff and then rush to the bottom just to catch you.
Trust
is a big fucking this to me since none of my “friends” are trustworthy.
I only trust two people that aren’t family, Lily and Michelle, but they’re so close to my heart that they’re basically family. Fuck all the rest.
2 tags
Tayone Khongmany
You and I met last year. We had two classes together - history and French - and somehow after getting to know each other, I started getting comfortable around you and started bothering you as if you were my best friend. We never talked in French, but in history, I’d sit behind you and bother you about your clothes and make fun of you. After a while, my classes changed and I only had French...
January 12, 2012
Me: "Adam!"
Adam: "What."
Me: "It's cold."
Adam: "I'm too cold, I'm gonna go."
Me: -hugs him-
Connor: "MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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"We're holding onto the pain, because it's all we...
I don’t know what’s real an what’s not anymore. I only can know for sure when something is “real” when it actually happens.
For example, I know for sure that I have school tomorrow but it doesn’t seem “real”. But I don’t know.
I’ve lost my mind again.
For the past three nights, I’ve been up until the wee hours (5-6 AM) watching Gossip Girl.
I keep telling myself to stop and since it’s a new year, I was hoping that’d be a motivation for me to think straight but I guess not. What the hell am I doing?
Where is my mind? I miss it.
December 2011
21 posts
1 tag
It’s New Years Eve and I didn’t realize that until just five minutes ago.
I don’t know what I want to do anymore. I have no new years’ resolutions (yet).
2 tags
(Currently watching Gossip Girl)
Serena and Dan and this Amanda girl were at this restaurant/bar on a triple date thing and after awhile, Serena goes to the bar and finds a cute guy and she comes back to the table to let D and A meet the cute guy and then Serena goes back to the bar and then D follows her and they start arguing and then Serena starts crying.
Serena: “You asked a girl out on the first day of...
2 tags
Listening to Fix You by Coldplay to fall asleep tonight.
This song reminds me of summer, which beings me to remember the endless nights I spent thinking about you and us and everything inbetween that.
“When you love someone but it goes to waste…”
I’m sorry we fell apart. I realize now that it wasn’t all your fault. I miss you but at the same time, I know we...
1 tag
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For the past two days, you’ve been really happy/hyper.
Today, you didn’t talk to the person next to yo that much, you kept trying to make conversation with me. I haven’t been in the mood to talk lately, and you’ve been talking every chance you got. It’s like we switched places.
You told me multiple things that sent me mixed signals today. At one point, you even...
None of you tell me where you’re going, when you’re going, or when you’re going back. It’s okay though, because one day you come home and I’m gone, it’ll be my fault, right?
What is wrong with all of you? You’re all so deep into your own shit that you can’t see I have shit going on, too. For adults, you’re all real immature
Grow up
1 tag
All of the people who take out their anger/frustration/any other negative feeling(s) on other people disgust me. First of all, just because you’re in a shitty mood doesn’t mean you have to go around and spread it to others. What did the other people do to you? Learn some manners and control your own emotions.
No one likes people with attitudes all the time.
1 tag
I miss my ex… He was my best friend. He understood me and my feelings and I understood everything of his.
I still don’t know where we went wrong.
Lack of sleep is getting to me. By the time I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be back to hating him.
Goodnight
2 tags
STOP telling me what to do. STOP making promises you can’t and won’t keep.
Fuck you. I’m done. I’m in the worst mood ever and if you fuck with me one more time, I’m leaving this house
1 tag
You're all dicks
I can’t rely on a single one of you
1 tag
Today, I tried talking to you as little as possible. Why? Because I don’t want to have anymore feelings for you than I already do.
But today after class, we walked upstairs because our classes are right next to each other, and I didn’t say much to you. Once we got upstairs, you stood there and I didn’t know what to do. We have this weird handshake that looks like a high five and I gave you one...
1 tag
We always want what we can't have
From my ex; I just want an answer. What happened to us? We used to make each other genuinely happy, and we never seemed to have problems. But I’m guessing that’s where we went wrong. Somehow, our relationship was “too perfect”. As in, we never had any real problems to strengthen our relationship.
I still miss you sometimes, but the new you isn’t what I want in my...
The more I try to block you out, you seem to make your way back in.
I don’t want to ruin anything that makes you happy. She makes you happy, so I think it’s best we block each other out.
No matter how much I don’t want to.
1 tag
Today, I stood outside of my class against the wall and you came up the stairs and stepped in front me and stood there. No words were exchanged between us, but it was nowhere near an awkward silence, which I loved. You stood in front of me and raised your hand up in front of me and I decided to give you a high five. We continued to hit each others palms and after a while, you just looked at me and...
1 tag
I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing anymore
I keep trying to deny any feelings I have for or towards you. I can’t let you or anyone else know because I don’t want to ruin anything we have right now and… You have a girlfriend. I don’t know for sure if you two are together, but I’ve seen you two hold hands once and that was almost a month ago.
I don’t want to be seen as a homewrecker. I’m trying to...
2 tags
“We are a mess, we are failures, and we love it!”
– Glockenspiel Song - Dog is Dead
Trimester 2
I keep saying I want to try harder in school but to be honest, I’m already too lazy to do my homework for today. And all I’ve got is algebra and science homework.
Fuck. My. Life.
I’m fat and lazy
1 tag
My weight has been bothering me so much lately… I was so skinny when school started/summer ended. Now I just feel like a potato everyday.
Fuck
As I’m typing this, I am eating McDonalds. Fuck my fat life
1 tag
The thing that bothers me
isn’t the fact that you’re in a new relationship. It’s the fact that you’re making yourself seem like a big wanna-be player. Being a “player” isn’t something to be proud about, so if you’re proud, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you. I’ve been single for over 5 months, and you know why? Because I don’t rush into...
November 2011
36 posts
So far, two people have asked me out of the blue what’d I’d say if you asked me to be your girlfriend again. Are you purposely trying to get me to say yes or are you just wondering? Because I’m getting annoyed with the way you think you can ignore me when I try and say the simplist things to you, like hi, and yet you go around asking people to ask me this and that.
What?...
1 tag
Sunday, November 27, 2011
My whole weekend was shit. I started out today feeling like shit, but as I went through the day, things got better.
I went shopping for the whole day, bought gifts for some people, went out to eat (which I haven’t eaten in about 2 days…), and then went to my aunt’s house. I’m home now, in a really good mood.
The whole day, I talked to Dangelo and G and Dangelo texted me...